memememe

2009-04-24T23:04:00.000-07:00

wtf have i become,
doing all this nonsense again, and now bearing the consequences
i've learnt my lesson, never will i touch such stuff again
maybe its a lesson given to me straight from above
now i've learned, will you please stop the pain in my eyes
it's killing meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
for 3 straight days i've been tortured by this intense pain
and it hurts even more with the medicine, and it doesnt seem
to be getting any better, after this i swear i will turn over a new leaf
i will be a better person and not be an asshole like what i was
everybody makes mistakes, so did i, although its a recurring one
but heck, i want to be cured, thats it, i had enough of this gangster,
undercover and illegal shit, i want to forget all this and get on with life
leaving all this behind, because its pointless and it just drags you down
to hell, you wont even realize it, yeah curiousity leads to all this, but wtf
is curiousity when you're hooked or when your health is affected,
no one will give a shit about curiousity when this kinda things happen.
i rather pull out now and learn my lesson than to continue and lest
something worse happens, i want to be curedddddddddddddddd
please. one last chance.

2009-01-01T06:58:00.000-08:00

right, so this years new year's day countdown was awesome
joined hasan and his friends over at chalet, fish and wei lie came along too
it was nice, we basically just ate and drank and caught up on each others lives
and talked about how we enjoyed being classmates last sem
too bad all that is gone now =(
so i stayed over at his place, talked the whole night til 7am, where i made my
way to hougang for the match against austin's team
yeah, even when im supposed to be out for playing soccer due to my foot injury
but who cares? hahahaha
ya well anyway, my foot was hurting like %^&* and i was feeling extremely tired
due to the abundance of alcohol in my blood. but still, a new year, and another year
has passed and i ain't forgotten about you my dear joyce satitkasem
so i just put my belive, like i always did , in your eyes, and looked at your picture
and told myself i'll win this game for you, and true enough, we did, even with and injured foot,
and lots of injuries in our team, still i managed to put the 4 goals in for a victory,
and im quite surprised as to how i did that, well, i'd say its the sparkle in your eyes
that gives me the confidence to do things that are highly impossible.
sadly, this is the 2nd year where i wished i could spend my countdown/newyear's day
with her, but argh heck, at least she still messaged me happy new year, and thats more than enough! right im turning in now, i havent slept for 30 hours, and been extremely active , im almost like a walking zombie now, !

2008-12-24T02:45:00.000-08:00

wow i love today's weather, at least its the only good thing about this year's christmas eve
other than that things pretty much suck, cos i broke my toe,
im having a bad flu, and i cant play soccer for a month, which pretty much spoils everything
and can also hear my mum and dad quarrelling as im typing this in my room. =/
anyway, merry christmas everyone, enjoy yourselves. :D

2008-12-07T11:22:00.000-08:00

i just discovered that the uncle who rents out bicycles at the coffeeshop
near my house is gay, and im freaked out, cos he targets me and my group
of friends, omg. i always go there to watch soccer, and he keeps talking about cocks
to us and keeps touching us, and picturing the size of our er-hems
god, save me !

2008-11-29T12:24:00.000-08:00

wtf happened to everything man
wtf happened to trekking
its like all's gone, no more trekking
no more b&b or whatsoever
secondly, what happened to sch
its become more sucky since sem 2 started
with dumbass classmates
argh
wish i could go back to sem1
anyway i kinda feel like as if some people
just make empty promises and use friends for the sake of shelter
and once the storm is over, they dump their friends like a torn umbrella
and continue on with their life, maybe some would know who im talking about
=)

2008-09-26T04:07:00.001-07:00

maybe confessing was stupid
but still, im not sure if its a positive or
negative outcome,
she was so jubiliant when i told her
kept laughing, smiling, but then
im afraid its cos she doesnt know what to say
but either way, im glad i did it, cos i couldnt take it
any longer, i had to let her know how i feel,
and i did it, and i pray that the outcome is positive
cos this is one person whom i really treasure in life
i love you J

2008-09-25T09:16:00.000-07:00

yeah man a7x are coming to singapore on oct 24
and im going to see them live
so fucking excited man, my most most favourite band
hahahahah
and going with my cousin, gonna be double the fun
mosh the hell out of ppl there
tickets are bought, so guranteed places
and i miss J terribly!

2008-09-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

mannnnnn it was a long day today
i woke up at 1.45 due to kelvin's uncountable calls
supposed to meet at 2 , but i joined kelvin in the bus, reached punggol around 2.30
so we met kervin, then proceeded to the court, and let the ball rolling!
so we played until the scorching hot sun for a while then david came
he took an hour plus to travel about 2 kilometres -.-
then there were 3 guys who joined us, we lost to them twice,
mainly cos i was fooling around after we took the lead, LOL
so kel kervin and david were going kallang, and i asked jonathan
to come down and meet me , so we WANTED to slack, at the usual Punggol FC
but on the way there, we met royston shaz and WJ playing soccer at edgefield primary,
so yes, once again i got into my gear, and cont,
then we played match with some people
and i must say, soccer is a game meant to be enjoyed,
so please, when playing soccer, do not show off or be rude, or
try anything funny, because u will be a motherfucking spoiler
so aft soccer we slacked at punggol FC til about 11.30pm
then i decided to go home, never expecting joyceto be online,
so i went online, didnt see her online, then i went to bathe,
after i came out, i saw that she was online, she talked to me,
BUT I DIDNT REPLY COS I WAS BATHING, OMFGGGGGG!
and she was already offline by the time i came out
all thanks to my wonderful mother, who kept nagging at me to go and bathe,
and thanks to her, i missed the opportunity to talk to joyce :'(
but its okay, went to play call of duty, killed some terrorists,
HAHAH, my favourite past time activity,
and i just realised today is pang's birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PANG!
alright im dead tired, need some sleep
i miss joyce awefully much =(

2008-09-16T20:11:00.000-07:00

im like so over the moon now, i waited so long for
you to come online, i got so moody, i didnt wanna
go to school, and i turned down the invitation to go smoke
shisha with the b&b, but im glad i did that, because i was waiting for you
to come online for several days, so that i could send you what i made for you
and u came, and u loved it, and i just felt the satisfaction, i felt happy,
because i knew u were happy, and just that is enough to make my day
ya, the day sucked at first cos dad was bitching at me for skipping school
but when u came online, you just brought the life into the day(although it was at night)
i just wish we could be nearby, side by side, i keep thinking of you 24/7
i couldnt slp last night cos i missed u $%^&* much
so i watched soccer, but i wasnt really concetrating on the match, i was more like
looking at my hp, as if waiting for your message, though i knew u were
sound asleep, because u must've been so tired from studying so hard
but its okay, because i understand it perfectly, i know how difficult things can be,
because i have gone through what u gone through, and i wish i could be there in bkk
to help you out, to teach u english like u always wanted me to, and so that you could
teach me thai just like i want you to, so that i can read books to you in thai
hahah, all this will become reality, because i will make it all happen
<3J

2008-09-13T12:11:00.001-07:00

okay, so today has been a boring day,
well not exactly boring, more like a family day
i had too much drinks last night, with jonathan, and my cousin
and his gang of friends, so when i went home, i started thinking
too much and all, and the things jonathan said to me
really touched me man, not as in the gay way,
but more like in the brother ways,
he told me this " God forgot to give me a brother like you"
i must admit its really nice of him man, cos after all these years,
differnet sch and all, but we still are as close as ever
and secondly, ive been thinking so much about joyce
its like im dying to see her online, but i just cant seem to be online
when she is, and im dying to talk to her
yeah, so i basically thought about all that, when i was lying down last night
so back to today, i woke up around 4, bathed then went over to grannys place
talked with my aunts and cousins, and played with the dog, so ard 7, we
went down to have steamboat, and i must say its really fun to eat with my aunts
and cousins, although its sad that granny has no more teeth, and she can only eat soft food
so we ate and talked and laughed, and after that i went back to sengkang and went to meet
another cousin of mine, so we slacked, smoked and talked cock, together with his redza
so we got bored and decided to go to the anchorvale park,
WHICH WE THOUGHT WAS OPEN
so we walked there, deserted road, no cars, dim lights
and when we reached there, it was still under construction,
so yeah, being a guy with an itchy butt, i wanted to go in, but just as i was abt to go in
saw something, but still wanted to go in, until my cousin said we better go from there,
so yeah we left, then we decided to sit at one of the deserted lrt stations,
and we just slacked there , talked and all,
walked with my cousin to his house, then i walked back alone,
tried to sleep and i couldnt sleep,
so here i am blogging, and i think i cant sleep
cos i miss joyce too much
HAHAHAHAH
okay seriously, i do miss her, how i wish i could see her right now
or maybe dream of her again, oh well. lets just hope for the best

2008-09-11T08:45:00.000-07:00

11 september 2008,
i had the nicst dream i have ever had in my life.
and i will never forget it
but how i wish it comes true
and i really really for once
pray to god to give me this one thing i've been wanting so badly
this one person who is impossible to find
i can never find someone like you
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i really need to go to bangkok, soon
i really need to meet u, just as much as you're dying to meet me
god, its back again, and i cant help it
but somehow i like it
just that you're 1427 miles away from me
if only we were nought miles apart,
life would be heaven,
cos you're the angel in my life.

2008-09-06T04:26:00.000-07:00

just changed new skin, so blog nt really up yet
ill update soon,
been too lazy to update recently
hahaha

2008-08-17T09:25:00.000-07:00

Nuang trip tomorrow
okay firstly, i dun think im even prepared for it
but i still wanna go nevertheless
secondly, the fucking campsite is a bloody bee swarm
which makes me even more dun wanna go
but i still wanna go cos its a way to get away from this hectic son of a bitch city
and relax
but id prefer it without the bees
okay thirdly
they are sleeping in bashas and i must admit this is the most stupid thing
to do because it's just fucking retarded
thirdly, i can bring my own tent, but i dont have my own tent, and co incidentally no one does
how nice
i dun care how tough the mountain is, how dirty
how cold, how whatever
just NO BEES
thats all i care for, cos bees are just such irritating lil bastards, buzzing ard, looking for trouble
and they are stupid and sensitive,
stupid cos they sit on you, and when u move, they sting you cos they tink u are attacking them
which explains the sensitive part, and lastly when one stings you,
the rest will come and sting you
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
how unfair and nonsensical is that
please wish me luck for my trip and please hope that somehow there are
no more bee nests or bee nearby the campsites cos thats where we will be spending most time at
god bless me man~!

2008-08-09T05:50:00.000-07:00

sorry guys! too lazy to update,

will update soon though ! :)

2008-07-22T06:04:00.000-07:00

Dunno why i feel like saying this all of a sudden

but i fucking love all of my bros and sisters in rp man

you guys are always there for me, and due to recent changes

i can tell who are the real friends, and who are just people

out to make use of you and for their personal benefit

together we share happiness and sorrow,

like trekkers, when we climbed gunung datuk,

we showed our concern and love for each other

and i realized i have come to a point in life where we

differentiate adults from kids,

Albania,Amanda,ian,afiq,hasan, azza, yan nee, rozy

23rd july was the date grandpa passed away

at first i was a little sad, i didnt really realize how much it meant

but when we performed the prayers, i realized how important he was,

and tears began to well up in my eyes, i saw for the first time , my family on my father's side

all my uncles, cousins, aunties and everyone whom i was related to but never saw

the joy of being re-united, but all in the sadness of the death.

when we were performing the last rites at the crematorium, i couldnt help it but cry

when we were young, he would dote on us, for we were the grandsons, the future of his generation and family name. if not for him, my brothers and i wouldnt be here,

he slogged to make sure our fathers prospered, and it's all because of him that im

enjoying life today, as i watched his coffin move into the furnace, i felt like i wanted to

cry out loud, but as my aunt told me, i have to be strong.

it was the saddest moment of my life.

but still, grandpa has gone to a better place,

and i hope he enjoys his afterlife and i pray that god will take care of him well

if i were a little boy, my mother would tell me that grandpa has gone to be with god,

but now that i'm an adult, now that we're adults, we have to accept the crudeness of death

and i guess that death is the final chapter of life on earth, and we all have to face it when it comes

whatever it is,

rest in peace, grandpa.

2008-07-12T04:35:00.001-07:00

I'm not going to blog about this past week becuase it has been bullshit
instead, i shall blog about happy things like getting back my laptop
and going to malaysia,
so it begins from wednesday, i got back my laptop, and i didnt go sch(again) -.-
so at around midnight, fish told me she going malaysia with fabian
then i was like wtf, go malaysia bo jio!
then i cal her, she asked me to call muhd, so i call muhd, they say they at tpy
so fabian give me his friend number ask me call his friend
i arranged to meet his friend at my hse here, so his friend, derek, picked me up
and we zoomed off to woodlands checkpoint to wait for them
so we went into malaysia, they serviced their bikes and stuff, and we just sat around and laughed
and complained and smoked alot, derek kept saying his bike will be okay in a while, he said that from 2.30, and he finished his bike at 4.40
for fear of having jam at causeway, we rushed back to checkpoint and cleared customs, and by the time i reached home, it was 5.37
aint that fast?
so went to sch the next day, was freaking sleepy
and my eyes hurt like fuck, shall not elaborate further on tht day because
it was a sucky day
so i went home, didnt get to go for trek training
and when i went home, had to run an errand for my brother
which mademe go to tpy and back, by the time i reached home it was already midnight,
so i slept
and i woke up at 5 the next day. shamyn called me a pig -.-"
but she's sleeping right now and its 7.42pm, so who's the pig now eh? haha
and as for the major thing that has been bothering me this week, i guess it's best to let go
and thanks albania hotstuff for talking to me about ths, and azza and rozzy too =)
need to go back to punggol sec soon to collect testimonial
damn, hate going back there, for the people in there now suck
lol
well, not all, but some of them. lots of posers in that sch now
heck, i dont want to be associated with that shithole anymore. haha
going to drink with LS later, hope to de-stress a little,

2008-07-02T08:06:00.000-07:00

dunno what the fuck is happening to me
argh
its like a war is going on inside my head
i dunno why im upset
i dunno whats making me upset
but i just feel upset
and im upset that im upset
can like freaking go crazy anytime
i hate this feeling
why wont it just go awayy
feel like smashing my head against something
so many fucked up things happeing
jealousy,anger,hatred,sorrow,
how the fuck do you put it all into one word,
whats the cure for it?
WHY WONT THINGS JUST WORK OUT FOR ME?!

aarrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

2008-06-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

that last post wasnt from me, but it was posted in front of my eyes
lol, thanks alot ah albania HOTSTUFF
anyways, these few days havent been doing much, i spent my saturday and sunday
going to the hospital to visit abd, went there alone on saturday
and went there with yan nee and xiao jun (fish) on sunday
and its like 5 more days to my bday! yeah!
back to school tomorrow, fucking sian
gonna stay up tonight to watch spain beat the hell outta germany
hahaha!
thats all, got nothing much to blog about!

2008-06-27T05:27:00.001-07:00

Today I want a post about my very good friend, Albania
She walks beautifully like an angel just drop from heaven
I must admit she's the hotstuff.
To me she's very nice and hot.

Anyway, I gotta tell you something.

I'm horny!

2008-06-25T21:59:00.000-07:00

its 9 more days,

actually, come to think of it, im kind of dumb to give up being a goalkeeper
after playing as a goalkeeper for 4 and a half years, so much effort put in
and i just give it up like that,
after all, i shouldn't just let one persons point of view spoil my self-esteem
the teams i've played for, 2b boys, kayu united, rangerz, scorpionz fc, and my punggol sec
school team, all the experience ive gained through this years, all the tournaments i played in
and i choose to give up just like that, i dunno why, but i feel the spirit back in me
after watching spain play russia and italy, i watched my idol casillas play, and it sort of
awakened the spirit in me, so far i've been praised so much, a hidden talent of mine discovered
im not boasting or anything, but i've had people telling me how good i am and stuff,
i was almost unbeatable last time, the memories of playing with school team,
yes, being a goalkeeper is tough, but the good side is, if u perform your task well
u get a sense of joy that cannot be described, it's like the best thing in the world,
inter house compeitition, 6 games played, 0 goals let in, and 1 goal score
that was my record, and for a keeper to not let in any goals during a tournament and to score 1 goal is miraculous.
the joy of playing in your homeground, all your brothers, your classmates watching you
cheering you on, and when u make a brilliant save, the sound of the spectators is incredible.
all these memories, how hard i trained, how much pain i was put through, how much sorrow it took when u lost a game, it was all a learning experience, i realized, after all these years, i lost my form because i was busy with other stuff, i didnt put in the effort i used to put in, and when i played for scorpionz, some people in the team just didnt appreciate me, that made me think i was uselss, i was lousy, but the fact is im not, and i know it, because i can feel it, and after so long, i feel like i must return, i must do it, its like, when play, and i suck, its hard to improve,
but when i try to quit, it's even harder,
after watching euro 2008, i realised that determination is all it takes.
4 and a half years, im not putting it to waste,
im returning guys, and i will prove scorpionz fc wrong,
for when i walked out of the tournament that day, was the day where it ended,
the day where not my life as a goalkeeper ended, but the day where my low self esteem ended its life,

2008-06-21T10:11:00.000-07:00

14 more days, yes, 14 more days

to my birthday, haha, and 1 year and 14 days
before i can take my bike license,
was discussing about it with jonathan just now
and omg, i just cant wait
did nothing much over the week, went to sch as usual,
was only late this week, once,
was present for every single fucking day for once. lol
had some more gossip sessions, cant blame, the girls just influence us
so i was at home the whole day today, played cs with my eldest bro,
he owned me like hell, probably cos playin on a desktop is easier
played til abt 7.30 for abt 2.5 hrs,
then bathed and all, went to meet jonathan to slack and play bass & guitar
then we composed an intro for a song, awesome
and we discussed about bikes and stuff, just discussing about it already
sounds so freaking awesome, the open road, the freedom,
breaking the speed limits. ah man, this year better pass quickly,
haha, i also found out this week that yan nee is getting more horny, lol
horniest girl i ever met, ;D

2008-06-17T21:37:00.001-07:00

she walks with elegance,
has a style of her own,
with beauty so stunning,
when she's around, i just
break down, lost in my own world
a name so lovely, face as sweet as honey
she's my obsession,
but, i screwed it up,
i barely know you, but why is it so,
that i feel for you?
crazy it may seem, but it's true,
ever since i first saw you,
i yearn for your presence.
but all hope is lost,
maybe a slight thin thread of hope
still lasts, but im broken inside,
things have not been working the way it should be
i've got so much to say, but strangely, i just dunno how to speak it all out
ah, fuck it, maybe im being stupid, but it's just me

2008-06-14T00:20:00.000-07:00

okay, so finally updating, thanks to yan nee bugging me to update

so on wednesday, went out to sentosa with yan nee, albania,manda,bk,amenda,su li,azza,hb

and met abd later at vivo, met up with yan nee in the morning, unfortunately i was late

so had to make dear yan nee wait again, hahaha

but no one was as late as the usual albania -.-"

as soon as we reached, sat down and kicked ball around

the beach was filled with green gross seaweed, moved to siloso beach later,

thats where hb suli and amenda came, so we swam, gossiped

and talked alot, seriously a lot about sex

found out lots of secrets bout each other

but mainly my secrets were exposed, sadly

found out the horrible truth about one particular person in trekearth,

made me change my perception of her,

after we were all hungry, got out of the sea, bathed and went to vivo to eat at mac

then slacked at vivo rooftop and played a game called truth&truth, lol

shall not elaborate more, did nothing much for the rest of the weekend, mainly went to hougang at night to slack with jonathan and ls,

had soccer training today, not with the stupid scorpionz, but with my own team

probably going airport at night, to slack and see air stewardesses!, lol, just joking

only to slack, =D

2008-06-11T02:06:00.000-07:00

firstly,the childish bitch wasnt referring to you.
up to you to belive, it's someone else,
secondly, i dont hate you, and if i hated you,
i won't be buddies with your brothers,
and lastly, i think this discriminating each other
thing is freaking childish, cant you let bygones be bygones?
even if we cant be friends, at least respect each other as strangers
and i apologize if u felt any hurt for the childish bitch thing, but it really
wasnt being directed towards you.

2008-06-08T11:46:00.000-07:00

okay, today went out with yan nee to cathay, went starbucks, chilled out
and chatted there, while waiting for abd, which took forever to come,
went to park lane to meet abd, found out yan nee has a phobia of BIG ROADS, lol
so after met abd, went to eat at mac, had a super long chat there as well, after mac
went to arcade to play some games, won abd at a racing game and be beat me at daytona,
watched yan nee play house of the dead, and her posture is super cute, haha
so after arcade, went across to some pub, cant remember the name, ordered shisha, and we smoked shisha, first time too! was heavenly, apple flavoured, yummy!
so abd wanted to watch croatia play against austria, so we watched the first half
and i thought there was NR6 to go home, but unfortunately it was sunday, so no NR6
so we were thinking of how to get me and yan nee home as abd's bike only ( and legally) could carry one pillion, so it was decided that yan nee go first while i try to walk as far as i could towards home, so by the time yan nee got home, i only got til little india, mustafa center, so abd came and pick me up, went to hunt at desker road if there were any bapoks ard. no luck
cos its just awesome teasing them
so abd fetched me home, but we made a detour and went to punggol first, explored the outside of white house, was spooky and intriguingly cold,
so told abd to drop me off at the ENTRANCE of the expressway, ended up he drop me ON the expressway itself, so i had a long walk home, lols
thats how i spent my day today, had a great time with yan nee and abd,
but strangely, my feelings are changing,
it shouldnt be happening, and i never thought it would happen,
but if it comes my way, ill just have to face it, =)

btw, just a little add on for some people
well actuallyonly one person to read this,
you're just a stupid sec 4 kid, who doesn't knowthe
difference between reality and fantasy,
and have yet to see the world
you're the childish one who wont listen to
REAl advice and choose to be in fantasy world,
but thats your own choice, your own life,
cos im not as childish to call people loser,
and go around discriminating people,
i've changed from previously, so dont judge me.

2008-05-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

Alright, my new blog,
old one got deleted by some childish bitch,
but anyways
heres my first post,
went out with kelvin, kelvin, ( note 2 kelvins) jonathan and dave
to watch singapore vs bahrain at kallang yesterday,
my prediction was that it would be a draw, and i was ALMOST, right
thanks to arseholes bahrain who scored a lucky goal ard 80+ mins in the game
i lost my 5 bucks. we went to take bus home immediately after the game,
instead of our usual routine of walking around the lorongs
LOL, so slacked with jon at hougang for a while, reached home around 1.20am
AND I OVERSLEPT AND MISSED SCHOOL FOR THE 2ND TIME THIS WEEK
which is pretty fucked up cos i missed my UT also.
so went to meet a friend, had a great time
and went for my TREKKING IG!
did leg exercises, pretty tough, but yea, we're trekkers !
after trek had dinner with them as usual, had our united nations meeting,
which involves only few trustworthy trekkers.
lol
its like 12.41 am now, and i gotta slp
i HAVE to go sch tmr,
and going malaysia this weekend! hooray!
gunung datuk here i come !